Sex Addiction and It’s Sign.
“I knew I was cheating on my fiancée but there was nothing I could do to stop these urges. The lack of professional help and counseling makes it worst. You cannot confess to your family and neither can you discuss it with your friends.”
Utter the word SEX in public and a dozen of judging stares will drop your way. But ironically Asia’s second largest red light area, Sonagachi is located in our country. Due to social taboos people restrict talking about their sexual indulgences in the public but the Pornography Petition filed in the Supreme Court in 2013alleges that more than 20 crore porn videos and porn clippings are freely available in Indian market due to its high demand.
“I have spent a lot of money on escort services. It’s an ugly truth but our city provides lot of options in these sectors” admits Anil (name changed), a divorcee. A businessman by profession, Ajay’s addiction affected not only his relationship with his family but also led to series of depression and panic attacks. Oddly Ajay had no relationship with his wife.
Is sex addiction compulsive masturbation? Or a nagging porn habit you’ve nursed since the class 7? Or does seven-eight orgasms per day make you an addict? Psychologist explains, “Sexual addiction (or sex addiction) is a conceptual model assessing people who report being unable to control their sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts. It is a symbolic enactment of deeply entrenched unconscious dysfunctional relationships with self and others. It involves a derailed developmental process that occurred as a result of inadequate parenting.”
It was only after his engagement broke-off; 34 years Mayank (name changed) realized the problem. “I knew I was cheating on my fiancée but there was nothing I could do to stop these urges.” Having a brilliant academic and professional life Mayank did not want this obsession to tarnish his image. “The lack of professional help and counseling makes it worst. You cannot confess to your family and neither can you discuss it with your friends” adds he.
“Individuals with sexual addiction initially experience a temporary sense of relief and belongingness when they start a new sexual relationship but this is usually short lived. And they go on in search of new relationships. Sex addicts don’t enjoy sex more than others. They do so more out of compulsion. Many a time they themselves do not understand why they are behaving the way they are”.
“He did not answer my call for weeks. We had already gone too far in our relationship so turning away from this point was not easy. A few months later one of his friend’s told me what he had been doing behind my back. I was totally shattered. I knew he was a seasoned flirt but I did not expect him to bed every girl he meets”, says Anupama, working professional from a private firm.
“For the longest time of my addiction I was in denial. I spent lakhs on my treatment abroad. I wonder how many addicts can afford that. Many people here don’t even know it is a disorder”, says Ajay. In India there is a stigma attached that hampers identification.
With minimum counselors present to advice the addicts in the city and zero availability of support groups in the vicinity tackling it becomes all the more difficult. The nearest sexoholics support group is The Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)in New Delhi.
With people beginningto shed their inhibition about sex addiction, Doctor says, “At the Dept. of Psychological Counseling, we deal with related cases from time to time. Either clients come directly to us or are referred to us from other departments.”
Addiction is often mistaken for criminal behavior, but an offender usually acts at the spur of the moment. Some psychiatric therapies found to work with sex addicts include the Cognitive Behavior Therapy which employs goal-setting to recover, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy which focuses on emotional well-being, and the Robert Carkuff Model, which includes a combination of both. Since it is closely linked to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the same medication works sometimes.
But the road to recovery is long and slippery.For all the prurient interest the disorder drums up, sex addiction — or ‘satyriasus’, the medical term for male sex addicts, and ‘nymphomania’ for female sex addicts — does not find mention in the common illness or disease comprehension.
Signs If you are addicted.
• An addict has an insatiable appetite for sex, and craves for it almost immediately after an orgasm
• An addict suffers from guilt and remorse after the act
• For an addict, obligations and responsibilities are not as important as pleasuring themselves
• Lack of sleep is a common symptom
• An addict also feels despair, depression and shame
• The need for sex escalates to desperation, and the addiction spirals out of control despite adverse consequences
• Addicts suffer from irritability and have severe mood-swings
• There is a feeling of disorientation and lack of energy
Bollywood’s alleged Sex Offenders
Om Puri
“My wife made me look cheap”, said Puri after his wife Nandita revealed ugly truths about the actor in a biography she penned. She wrote about Puri’s extra marital relationship with a woman named Lakshmi and his sexual engagements with their 14-year old maid Shanti.]
Shakti Kapoor
A leading media house conducted a sting operation on Kapoor dad to reveal this Bollywood baddy’s true colors. The video footage had him saying things like “I want to make love to you… and if you want to come in this line [of business] you have to do what I am telling [you] to do,” to an aspiring actress.
Madhur Bhandarkar
This bollywood director got embroiled in a controversy when budding actor Preeti Jain accused him of raping her under the false pretenses of marriage and giving her a lead role in his film.
Shiney Ahuja
The Gangster actor’s rape scandal became the most-talked about controversy in B-Town. The actorleft the industry aghast when the court imprisoned him for raping his young maidservant.
